During one of my introductory bio-logy classes at college, the professor was describing the differences between humans and other primates, such as opposable thumbs and superior hand-eye coordination. To illustrate his point, he plucked a cinnamon sweet off his desk, tossed it in the air and caught it in his mouth.
“That’s nothing!” one student exclaimed. “My dog can do that!”
- Timothy Wallace
My brother Carlo and I shared an apartment while at university. One evening I arrived home to find him sprawled on the couch, eating ice cream with a fork. “What's with the fork?” I asked.
“It’s all that was left in the cutlery drawer,” Carlo replied.
“Everything in the dishwasher’s clean,” I said disapprovingly.
“I don’t like eating with stuff straight from the dishwasher,” said Carlo. “It’s not civilized.”
- Rob Santaguida
I was visiting my boyfriend, Steve, at his university. He parked his car illegally to unload my luggage and, when we came back out, we found a police officer writing a ticket. “I’ve got enough stress without this!” Steve cried. “Hours in the library, pages and pages of reading—it’s too much!”
The officer paused a moment, then said, “And you couldn’t read the sign that said no parking?”
- Sarah Ezer
For my first year in college I lived in the hostel. One day, during exams, a friend dropped in unexpectedly with a bowl tucked under her arm. As I watched, she pulled a can opener, a tin of salmon, a packet of vinegar and a fork out of her pocket, and proceeded to open the can, dump it in the bowl with the vinegar and mix it. After tossing the empty can in the garbage, she headed out of the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked. “You just got here.”
“I can’t stay,” she said. “I’ve got to study.”
“Then why did you come?” I asked.
“Oh,” she laughed, “I didn’t want to stink up my room.”
