Marion Burbulla/Reader’s Digest Association, Inc./GIDFor Richer or Poorer Man, woman and... it's all about accounting
Few of us address the issue of money before we tie the knot. It’s only when arguments flare that we face up to key issues, such as the differences in earning capacities; the division of bank accounts; whether to have a budget; and what to do about saving and investing.
Every relationship should have a financial blueprint, one that allows for shared goals, yet gives each person a measure of autonomy.
Excluding half the team because they don’t get a pay packet is a mistake. You are a partnership, after all.
You’ll also need to divide labour—who’ll be responsible for paying bills on time, for instance. Some couples take turns, others mutually decide the more organized partner should take the job. You can always revise the roles after a few months.
Bank accounts can be another complex area. To accommodate differences, it’s useful for each partner to have their own account for discretionary spending: he buys a camera; she gets a cellphone.
Instead of these purchases constantly causing arguments, separate accounts allow both parties to flex their financial muscle. And by deciding together what you can afford to spend in this way, you’re building a mutually respectful partnership.
Successful money management in relationships is a balancing act of negotiation, discussion, sharing and learning.
Start by:
Prioritizing your long-term shared goals. For example, do you want to buy a home, pay off existing loans or travel?
Work out your combined income and calculate a joint budget.
Review your finances every three months and adjust accordingly.
Discuss the arrangement of bank accounts—shared and/or separate.
Decide who pays the bills and who manages savings and investments.
Make sure each person has discretionary funds to spend.
Finally, don’t be afraid to openly discuss your money goals and woes.
